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Now you slowly rise to your feet and walk towards me, and my stomach gives a sickening lurch. You are taller and heavier-built than I realised when you were sitting down – you must be nearly six foot, I think. You are not wearing the same uniform that I have been given, but something better and more comfortable, perhaps not regulation issue. Your short navy blue skirt and plain white singlet top show the well-defined muscles of your legs, arms and shoulders – you look like someone who works. Alex must have seen the look on my face and quickly assured me that it was all OK and that it was nobody elses business and he would keep my secret. He said it made sense when I wrote about hanging out with a guy at the pool who wore black speedos, was straight and training for a triathlon. Then we were interrupted and that was the end of the discussion.I was pretty nervous for a few days wondering if Alex would share my ‘secret’ with my friends but I heard nothing.It was a few days before I. We still send each other Christmas cards, not that it matters.On both sides of the family, I am first-born of the generation, I do have one brother, and a number of cousins. It was the funeral of a cousin's in-law that I had attended, and because that in-law, an older woman, had been very gracious in the aftermath of the car accident that killed my parents, I felt I should be present at her funeral. So I drove the several hundred miles to another small town, this one east of Utica, found myself. "Oh Lily." I blubbed. "I think I've made a BIG mistake." Why?" What if mum's right? What if Suzanne is all wrong? I don't know if I've made the right decision." Your mum didn't understand, did she?" No." I know this may be hard, but you might have to face the fact that she may NEVER understand. It's up to you of course, but you have to do what's right for you, not her." I know." I said dejectedly.Lily was right. It was my life and I had to live it the way I thought was right, not in a way that.
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